7 Tips for Job-Seekers

1. If you must include a photograph in your application, don't choose one from a party. Don't choose any photo where you have your arm around someone making a kissing-face, and/or a cigarette in your hand. In fact, a good general rule would be to not choose any photo where you have to specify your hair color to identify yourself.

2. Don't include phrases like, "Your satisfaction is guaranteed," or "By gift of nature I am a perfect orator," in your cover letter. Just don't.

3. When applying for a position at the workplace of a close acquaintance with whom you don't get along well, don't try to hide your connection by not mentioning his/her name in your cover letter or hiding your application from that person. It will come back to bite you. I mean, what are you, 5?

4. Don't say that salesmanship is really just about "convincing propaganda" when applying for a promotional position.

5. Don't offer to provide a 90 minute video tape of a speech you gave as evidence of "deafening applause of approval expressed by over 3000 people from various walks of life".

6. Don't put "Hello!" in the subject line of your application via email.

7. And finally, don't offer to work for "several months" without pay to prove yourself.

In the Name of Tradition

Well, a new semester has begun (even if it's hardly noticeable because I'm not going to class as I'm supposedly writing my thesis) and with it a new round of parties and a fresh batch international students have arrived. To kick off 2007, Danny arranged a lovely start-of-the-semester bash in his kitchen, as he did last semester. I have to say it started off a little shaky; as the only girl there (and one of the only old-timers) for the first 45 minutes or so, I felt a little out of place. Apparently our little gig was unsuccessfully competing with the Eagles of Death Metal. But then, like clockwork, everyone showed up at once and it was like Fergie had just yelled, "Let's get this party started... in here!" Good times, good times. Annemarie kept up the tradition of a single person polishing off a "WHOLE BOTTLE OF RED WINE!" by herself, which was started last year by a lovely lady who shall remain nameless ;-) But as you can see, she was wise enough to bring an appropriately-sized-for-the-occasion "WHOLE BOTTLE OF RED WINE!"

In other news: woman's right eye makes repeated attempts to escape her head

The dreaded eye twitch. And for weeks now. One of these days the damn thing is just going to pop right out of my head - but at least I'll be awake to catch it. There's no doubt in my mind that my burning lungs and stuffy nose are not benefiting from the sleepless nights I've spent poking myself in the eye this past week. I've just done a quick Google search so I know all about the less caffeine and more water advice. I think (and hope) that's probably it; it does seem a plausible explanation to my accompanying headaches and newly-arrived cold. So I intend to give it a whole-hearted effort. But I did come across one or two wacky home-remedies.

Take eating bananas, for instance: not a wacky remedy in-and-of itself, but it certainly becomes a bit odd when you catch yourself sending your neighbors text messages at 20.30 - when you've suffered through a whole day of spasms and you're less concerned about your neighbor's sleeping patterns than you are about finding out ways to keep yourself from gouging out your eyeball - that begin like "Are you at home, and do you have a banana I could use?" (This is exactly why I created a second blog more suitable for the refined tastes of the grandfolks.)

Anybody else got any weird ones?

Vitameatavega... fly? (Lucy, we love you)

So a few months ago I was told that there is a vitamin product out there made just for airplane travelers - or at least it's marketed this way - called Airborne. (Go to http://www.airbornehealth.com/ for their official website.) Now while I scoffed and thought, "only in the U.S.," upon learning of the herbal supplement and vitamin package developed by a former second-grade teacher, I've since begun to wish that these little "Zesty Orange", "Lemon-Lime" and "Pink Grapefruit" tablets were available in Denmark.

Three times a week, I shake hands, converse, and do my best to avoid the free-airline-booze breath of hundreds of haggard passengers passing through the Copenhagen airport. And it's caught up with me - and most of my colleagues. Where's my bottle of vitamin C now? Oh yeah, empty. I was too cheap to buy a new one. Frugal Fanny? Yes, but at Danish prices it'd probably cheaper to have someone in the U.S. buy a bottle of Airborne and a first-class ticket to Copenhagen to hand deliver it to me.

So do I bust into the coveted DayQuil/NyQuil supply? Or just fire up the electric kettle and hope for the best? Oh who am I kidding?! Give me those good ol' American wonder-drugs!

Sjælland in a Saturday

After almost a year and a half in Denmark I finally ventured out of the country's capital this past Saturday! Mind you I didn't really make it off the island of Sjælland (where Copenhagen is located), and I had to insult a Dane by saying that I thought Sweden was better than Denmark to acquire a tour-guide!

But I'm glad that I finally got around to it. While much of what I saw was indeed like I expected it to be, I was rather surprised to find trees in quantities that made me think of the word "woods" if not "forest". And I even saw what just might qualify as a hill or two - shocking! Actually for such a notoriously flat country, Denmark has a remarkable number of little rolling hills (even if they are clustered in just a few areas) and even cliffs! Just look to the left for photographic evidence! These would be the cliffs of Møn. To see this beautiful site you have to drive quite a bit south of Copenhagen - and climb a lot of stairs to get back to your car - but it's all worth it once you see that torquoise water washing black rocks up onto the white sand.

Actually, this lovely sight recently made the Danish news as a large portion of the cliff face fell into the sea. Luckily it didn't ruin this view or crumble while I was there... though I did hear stories of tourists buried to death by cliff sand that had decided to go for a swim. Apparently this was the fate of French couple some years ago - ah, what a romantic way to die! A little less romantic for those who had to dig them out though.

To sum up the rest of the trip: Swans have invaded Denmark - there are flocks (or gaggles?) of them everywhere. I wouldn't want to live right next to a windmill or in a house with a thatched roof. Denmark has rich people too. And it's good to know someone who gets corporate rates and upgrades on car hires :-)

I've figured it out now

I've decided to create two blogs. One will just be a watered-down version of the other. In other words, I'll have the family friendly, edited blog and then the full-out complete blog. This is the real one. There will be info about my travels and the craziness of life in Denmark, as well as nerdy philosophy discussions, random thoughts, accounts of events my grandparents don't need to know about, other zany stuff. If this isn't your cup 'a tea, then consider my watered-down blog - http://itsabigwideworld.blogspot.com. There won' t be anything too controversial in there. I promise. But if you do choose that blog, consider yourself warned; you're missing all the good stuff.

And so I'm blogging...

Just started this blog and I'm not sure why. Is it to keep friends and family in distance places updated on my silly life? Is it to grab a little piece of net-space for myself? Or to give me a medium to rant about various ridiculous things? Or is it just because everybody else is doing it? Probably the last one. We'll just have to wait and see.